God's Curses

God is cursing me. This morning, I didn't want to wake up for church. I've been so used to waking up around noon that I couldn't muster the energy to get out of bed for either 9am services or 11am services. Plus, I had a bad dream that put me in a bad mood so I really didn't want to get out of bed. Brian woke up at 8am and 10am telling me that we needed to go to church, but that didn't help.

Why is God cursing me? Megan text messaged me while she was at the early service and said, "We get to sing Jesus Christ Superstar at the early service. Yay!" knowing that I was going to miss it. Jesus Christ Superstar is one of my favorite musicals and I would have loved to sing it at church. Unfortunatly, my devilish wiles got the best of me and my attitude. I can't let that happen again.

Brian and I went to the gym around noon and left at 1pm. We haven't been for so long and I'm mad because of it. I used to go all the time, but then I went home for Christmas, blah blah blah, I'm lazy. I hope we can get back into the swing of things because working out makes me feel better about myself and well....makes me not feel fat. I currently weigh 180 pounds. I used to hover around 170 lbs., but now my stomach makes me the envy of barren women and my chest makes me the envy of 13 year old girls. Yes, I would love to have a six-pack, huge biceps, and nice pecs, but I don't think that will happen. All I really want is to fit into cute clothes and not have boobs. I want to look great for Brian because he's so sexy and sometimes I feel like he's not attracted to me cause I'm fat. I gotta keep working out.

We went to see A Midsummer Night's Dream at Capitol Theatre at 2pm. In high school, I was Oberon and have loved the play ever since. The Utah Opera put this production on and I was very excited to see it. As we got ready, I kept worrying that we were going to be late and was getting mildly mad. When we found a parking space, we got out of the car and started running to the theatre. I knew Brian didn't want to run, but he also asked, "Do you have the tickets?" I had forgotten them and felt really stupid. All this time I was getting upset at Brian for being late, yet I forgot the tickets in the car and made us more late than we had to be. I thought it was funny.

After the first act, I browsed the program which said it was going to get out at 4:50pm. I was so mad because I had planned on a two-hour show and told Aunt Julia I could make dinner for Grandma and Grandpa at 5pm. Brian convinced me that we had to leave, so we left during admission. I felt dirty for leaving a cultural event and wanted to get on Brian's cell phone to act like an emergency was making me leave, but then I thought, 'I don't care what other people think of me.' I walked out of the theatre without getting on a cellphone. I was really proud of myself.

As we were walking back to the car, I took this picture:

Brian made his really good chicken and we went over to Grandma and Grandpa Nix's house. Ryan Krissman ate with us and they all really liked the chicken. Here's a picture of my cute grandparents:

Aunt Julia is putting together a book for Grandpa where we have to write why we love him. I want a picture on my page so I took this picture. Aren't we handsome men?

While we were there, my Dad called. He told me that he was interviewing a guy who was in his 3rd year of Law School at Cornell University. My Dad got his number and told me to call him to ask him questions. I thought it was really nice of my Dad to do that; I'll probably call him because Cornell is one of the schools I want to go to.

Tonight, Megan came over for a bit. It was fun. I told her we needed to go to bed at 10pm, so she left before then. I was planning on going to bed, but then Brian turned on the TV and we started watching Degrassi on the Nogin channel. It was an episode where one of the characters came out to his mom. It reminded me of when I did it. I don't think anyone ever forgets the moment the come out to their parents. We finally went to bed, two hours after I planned on.