I thought this day would never end!

This day seemed like it would never end. I had a test in my International Relations class and I think I did okay--I hope an get an A on it. I also thought I had lost Brian's calculator because the zipper for the pocket on my backpack that I keep his calculator was in was open. Totally freaked out, I took my test and then ran to where my first class was held. I couldn't find it among the seats near where I sat earlier in the day, but eventually found it on the desk in the front of the auditorium. I was so relieved because I knew Brian would be really angry with me if I lost it.

Usually, I go to work after class but instead I went home to do homework. I had a paper due in my Constitutional Law on Tuesday and I hadn't gotten in done. I was going to help Megan tonight so I didn't have any time to do it at work. Instead of inbound calls at work, we have to call computer resellers and invite them to our Intel Channel Conference. It's such a pain! I eventually went into work at 2pm.

After work, Brian and I went to Jim Gonzolas' office to stuff envelopes for Megan's campaign for Salt Lake County Democratic party chair. On the way there, Brian and I talked about this new book that I really want called The End of Poverty: Economic Possibilities for Our Time by Jeffrey Sachs. Time Magazine included an excerpt and I was extremely intrigued when I read it; so interested that I put the book on my Amazon wishlist. Anyway, I was appalled at some of the positions Brian took in regards to extreme poverty (defined as people living on less than a dollar a day). When I said the world has a responsibility to solve the problem of extreme poverty, he said only the countries that actually have extreme poverty should be responsible. When I said that an American life is not worth more than a Rwandan life, he disagreed. When I said that every person on the earth has a right to have a fulfilling life, he disagreed and said that extreme poverty is a way of the earth making sure it doesn't over populate.

I'm so used to Brian's extreme positions on issues he doesn't understand that I'm not bothered by those beliefs that make him look crazy. But here's a funny story that contradicts the philosophy behind Brian's radical views: When we went to Papa John's to order pizza for everyone who was helping Megan, Brian gave a $2 tip to the guy who took our order. When we left, I asked why he gave a tip to a guy who did the same thing as a lady at Burger King. He said that they only make minimum wage working there and he feels like he should give them more. I was so weirded out. Here's a guy who feels that it's a person's fault for not being able to feed themselves, but is willing to give $2 to a person who chooses to work at a place for minimum wage. I called him on it and he got upset because he didn't have a logical reason to why he did it.

As we were stuffing folding letters and stuffing envelopes, I got so many paper cuts. On one letter, I got blood on the back of it; being the frugal person that I am, I just used pen to cover the red mark. I hope the guy doesn't care--if he does, he's a loser.

At the table, Anne Louser, Josh Moon, Brian and I talked about all kinds of things--socialism, the Terri Schiavo controversy, Anne's work history, and pornography. I got a little upset when someone brought up something about pornography, something that I cannot write about here. I wish someone would understand why it's a sore point to bring up and it is my business.

We left at about 10pm and drove home. All of a sudden, I had a clearing of the mind and something occurred to me about Brian and I. This goes back to our discussion about what we are going to do when I want to go to law school and he wants to keep his job. We are both strong willed individuals who have high goals that we will not compromise on. I realized that Brian and I cannot stay together unless one of us is willing to compromise on our goals. Whether that means Brian following me or me following him, one has to happen for us to live happily ever after.

I don't know what I want to do with the rest of my life, but I do want to be successful. I want to live abroad at some point in my life, maybe working for the United States embassy in a country in Africa. I asked Brian if he would come with me and he said, "Hell no!" While that was a gut reaction, he probably won't follow me. I know he won't sacrifice anything he wants for me which leads me to the question at hand: If I want to stay with Brian, will I sacrifice everything I want for him? Will I be able to live happily being a "house-husband" that follows Brian wherever he goes? Could I be happy knowing that I gave up everything?

I will probably be thinking about this for awhile.