The Disappointing Queer Prom

Brian and I slept in this morning and it was really nice to wake up next to him. I went to Aunt Wendy's and mowed her lawn. That only took about an hour, but I stayed for a little while longer to play with her grandkids.

For lunch, Brian and I went to Red Iguana. I usually like the Blue Iguana, but the Red Iguana was closer and Brian suggested we go there. I really like when Brian suggests a place because I feel like I always decide where we go. Over dinner, we got into a discussion over something, but it put Brian in a sour mood. Brian always gets agitated when we discuss anything controversial and any good mood he was in immediately disappears.

There is a Wonder Bread store next to the restaurant so we walked across the street to buy some bread, ding-dongs (best snack in the world), and 10 apple pies (the gross ones that come in the green wax paper). Since my car needed an air filter, we stopped at Checkers to get them.

Brian does not like running errands (as opposed to me) and especially does not like running my errands. After getting the air filter, I realized that I needed new wiper blades. Brian told me that I did not and I asked him when the last time he drove with me in the rain was. After getting the product, we got in line. There were only three people at the counter and the line had formed behind the one person who wasn't a cashier. I still waited in that line precisely because it was a line. There was only one person ahead of us, but the one cashier was taking a long time with one customer. Once this customer finished, the person in front of us was next. Once he left, I approached the counter and was helped. We waited in line for about 15 minutes.

I outline what happened because Brian and I got into an argument over the placement of the line. He said that if we didn't wait in the line behind the non-cashier, we would have been helped faster. He thought that there were other people in the store being helped by the cashier in front of us. Unfortunately for him, he was wrong and I pointed this out. He started to raise his voice, but then I said I did not care and asked him if we could drop it. We did and I realized how stupid the conversation was, but I was still correct.

Tonight was the Queer Prom, something I had been looking forward to since we went last year. I know Brian hates dancing, but last year he had a good time dancing with me. We were able to slow dance and I had a fantastic time. I assumed that he wanted to go again this year, but when we got home after lunch he told me that he would go because I wanted him to. When he said this, I told him he didn't have to go but I would be really disappointed. I've been looking forward to this night for months.

Queer Prom was actually a big deal for me. I absolutely love dancing and its the only time that Brian "wants" to dance with me. Little did I know how wrong I was. Before we went to Prom, Scott and Nathan went to Applebee's with us to eat. Ever the arguer, Brian brought up the subject of communities voting to not sell alcohol in city limits and closing all businesses on Sunday. Scott disagreed with him and said that the market should decide this, not government. For the second time today, Brian raised his voice and was agitated.

Scott went to the Queer Prom with us (Nathan had to babysit) and I was looking forward to an enjoyable evening. Since we were chaperones, we had to work and were assigned to making punch. The only water we could get came out of the bathroom faucets, so here's a picture of Brian and Scott making punch in the bathroom. It really was funny to do and see.

Scott and Brian making yummy punch near urinals.

After we made the punch, the dance started. We basically made sure the punch was always full. We also had to get ice, so we ran to the store and played Secret Service agents (Scott played more than Brian did--Brian doesn't like playing pretend). We also stood near the dance floor and watched the kids dance. A Frank Sinatra song came on and I asked Brian to dance. I can't tell you how much I love slow dancing with Brian--it's one of my most favorite thing to do and I almost never do it. Actually, the last time Brian and I slow danced was at last years' Queer Prom. I love holding him, looking into his eyes, talking, laughing and spinning him at the end of the song. Since I've always danced with girls my whole life, it was really nice to dance with the man I really love.

Brian went to say hi to someone and Scott and I started to dance to a fast song. There was a conga-line that we joined and I had a blast with Scott. The night was getting fun very fast and I was loving every minute of it. Once Brian was done talking to the person he knew, we started dancing to Gwen Stefani's "What you waiting for?" Brian and Scott were lukewarm in their enthusiasm for the song, but I was glad they were dancing.

We went to check on punch and stood around the food for awhile. A disco song that I love came on and I asked Brian to come dance with me. He declined and said he'd rather just stand by the punch. It was then I realized that I shouldn't have brought Brian. In my imagination, I envisioned us dancing to many of the fast and slow songs, laughing, and having a great time with each other. I forgot that Brian doesn't like being around lots of people and hates dancing. I don't know why I thought Brian would like being there with me.

When I am rejected, I basically shut down. After Brian said he didn't want to dance, I just sat down and acted polite. Brian saw this and near the end of the song he said, "We can go dance if you want." I said that the song was almost over and it wouldn't be worth it. As we sat on a bench together, Unchained Melody by the Righteous Brothers came on. This song is special to me because I've always wanted to dance to it with the love of my life. In high school, when I was sad and depressed, I used to listen to it and imagine myself dancing to it and knowing life was great. As the song started, I felt like a girl at prom with a crush on the hottest boy at school who only wanted that boy to ask her to dance. I really wanted Brian to ask me to dance, and when he didn't, I felt dejected and unloved. This moment could have been a perfect moment for me, but it wasn't. I wanted to run into the bathroom and cry.

Sarah McLachlan's song Angel came on next and I hoped Brian would ask me to dance for this one. Yes, I could have asked him to dance, but I wanted to feel special and wanted. If I would have asked, Brian would have possibly said yes and half-heartedly danced with me. I really wished I had not invited Brian to come with me and brought someone who would have had a better time with me.

The next song that played was Britney Spears' Toxic and I knew I had to get on the dance floor. I did ask Brian, but in a vitriolic manner said, "I hate Britney Spears." I wasn't going to stay around someone who was bringing me down so I went on the dance floor and started dancing. I love Britney Spears! After the song, I stood on the side and watched all these people having fun and compared them to Brian who was not having fun. I don't want to end up not being in the group that doesn't dance and isn't laughing and having a great time. I don't want to always be watching people having fun from the sidelines.

At my wedding, I've always imagined myself dancing the whole time and saying hi to people on the dance floor. If Brian and I ever get married, I won't be able to dance the night away.

As I watched the crowd, Brian and Scott walked up to me and I said that I was ready to go whenever they were. I really did not want to stay because it only reminded me of how un-fun my boyfriend is. I didn't want to be reminded that I was wrong about Brian and how I thought he wanted to dance with me. I just wanted to get out of there. I was sad.

Next year, I want to go but not with Brian. I don't want to leave early next year. I just want to have a fantastic prom night, even if it's not my real prom.

Brian, my cousin Meisha, and Me.