Trouble at Intel

I just got in trouble at work. My boss Jessica called me into her office and there sat 2 other managers who chewed me out. Although I sit on the phones all day waiting for people to call me, Intel is having their bi-annual Intel Channel Conference and we're supposed to call every member of our Product Dealer Program. We are each assigned a city to call (I have San Jose) to register our members for the conference. We are required to make at least 50 a day.

Well, I haven't been making my calls. Last week, I think I made 2-3 calls each day and my bosses have been getting mad. We have about 20 people on our account and I'm 3rd from the last in irresponsibility. I told my boss Jessica that I totally understand where they were coming from and would start making my dials. She was really nice and offered to drop the number of required calls to 40 (since I don't work full shifts, only 4 hour and 6 hour shifts), but I told her no. There's a guy who is only here for 2 hours a day and he makes about 40 calls in that time. I was glad that she said "At least Jesse knows when he's doing something wrong" to the other managers in the office. I do know when I'm not doing the job I'm getting paid for and there hasn't been a good excuse for me not to make my calls.

I've been under the weather the last couple.....months. I wish I could say days, even weeks, but it isn't the case. I don't know how to describe it other than feeling depressed about life and not caring about anything of import. I feel like I just want to stop doing everything and do nothing. I feel alone, dark, sick, and overwhelmed. I usually just want to go home , lie in my bed and sleep. I've been having a hard time getting out of bed the last 2 months, skipping class more than I have in the past, and not caring about important things I should. I come to work and want to be lackadaisical. I know when things aren't right with me when I can't just smile and feel an overwhelming joy about life in general. I don't like being sad.