I'm not a girl, not yet a woman...

As I've been watching Desperate Housewives at work, I'm becoming more are more, well, gay. Stereotypically gay, that is.

I'll be watching, something important will happen, and I'll say, "Ohhhh! No you didn't!" or "Girlfriend!" or "Girrrrrlllll!" or "She did not!" When I'm watching my new 2nd favorite show (after Battlestar Galactica), I'm engrossed by the storyline and completely ignore my surroundings... well, except for the beep that notifies me that I have a call.

Today, I evolved into my stereotypically gay self and needed to go to the bathroom. I put the PSP down, took my headphones out, and said, "Girlfriend has got to go pee-pee."

Yes, roll your eyes, but I am genetically gay. (And for those of you who don't think it's genetics, I will tell you that it is hard-wired into me that vagina juice is nasty, just plain nasty. Aren't you bothered by the smell of a woman walking out of the bathroom, recently excreting liquid out of her grilled cheese flaps?).

Anyway, when I got back from the pee-pee room, my co-worker Kim said, "Jesse, we have something to tell you."

I sat down and she looked at me like the next thing she was about to say was really serious.

"Jesse, for being a girl, you are pretty ugly."

Another co-worker chimed in: "But you do have the cleavage."

It was really funny.