Less than 24 hours left

I haven't slept in 38 hours and I'm now to that point where I'm not tired anymore. Okay, I take that back--I'm about to go to sleep and I can't wait!

The reason I haven't slept is because I left Salt Lake International Airport at 12:30AM this morning to arrive in Rochester, New York at 9:30AM. I couldn't sleep on either plane because I was thinking about Lucy. That's the reason I'm here: we are putting her to sleep tomorrow.

My flights were terrible; remind me never to fly overnight because you really don't get any sleep.

I arrived at my parent's house around 11:30 and went immediately to say hi to Lucy. She looks worse than I thought. The muscles around her face have stopped working, so her face looks really droopy and she can't open her mouth to eat. Also, the muscles on her back have fallen so you can really feel her spine. It's gross and sad at the same time.

Lucy can only eat by sucking in food through the sides of her mouth, so I made a bowl of food for her and fed her. I started crying as I watched her eat because I remembered how active she once was. After she finished, she stuck her tongue out (like all dogs do) to lick her face. Unfortunately, her tongue became stuck and it looked like she was permanently sticking her tongue out at you. I just kept crying.

We'll see how tomorrow goes. I'm going to be with her when they put her to sleep. I don't want her dying with strangers.