The Past and the Present at the Same Time

I spent this afternoon text messaging various people to get them to hang out with me tonight. I was such in a mood to party, drink, and go out, so I contacted my two friends that I know I can rely on when it comes to those things.

Brianna had a birthday party to go to. Tanner said he'd hang out with me.

I also called Megan and Scott and made plans to drink and go dancing with them.

I told Tanner that we would go to dinner and meet up with Scott and Megan later. Right after I confirmed plans with Tanner, I called Brian to see if he would be okay with my plans.

I had to ask Brian because Tanner is an ex-boyfriend--"the" ex-boyfriend right before Brian and the first serious boyfriend I had. In fact, he's the first guy I had sex with. Tanner means a lot to me because of those things and I always want him to be a part of my life in some way.

In fact, as we hung out tonight, I was reminded of all the good times we shared when we dated. We both laughed at the great times and the bad times. I apologized for being a jerk to him sometimes, and he usually responded by saying that he deserved it. We even swapped some secrets.

After he and I broke up, I wrote a nasty letter to him saying the meanest things I could think of, but I never gave it to him because it was so mean. Part of my excitement of hanging out with Tanner tonight was to tell him about the letter, something I've always wanted to do. My excitement dwindled when Tanner told me he had read the letter; he said it was sitting in my bedroom, and "being the snoopy person" he is, he went into my room and read it. "It had my name on it!" he said. I laughed and told him that I was mad at him for reading it!

He also made another confession to me. I didn't have a bed at the time (I still don't but it's sure nice to date someone with one) and Brian gave me his air mattress to sleep on. Well, Tanner was mad at me one day, took a pin, and popped by bed! When he told me, I could only laugh and say, "So that's why I woke up every morning to a flat bed!"

As we were having dinner, I told him that I was having a great time. Tanner is such a fun guy and I really enjoy being around him. It kinda felt like a date because I was nervous hanging around an ex-boyfriend that I hadn't hung out with in 3 years.

After dinner, we went over to Megan's to, well, get drunk.

And we did! I had an amaretto sour (with more amaretto than sour), 5 shots of vodka, and a hell of a good time! I always really enjoy being around friends and drinking. Scott was particularly funny because he only had a little to drink and was being funny. He was the designated driver so he only had one drink two hours before we went dancing.

We went to Club Gossip and I danced most of the time. During the drag show (which I can't stand), we went to the bar and talked with various people we knew. I saw my friend Robb Henry and, well, kinda felt him up because I was drunk. Charles Milne bought Arlyn Bradshaw a drink which he didn't like, so he gave it to me and I finished the kamikaze for him. I also saw Ben and we laughed together remembering the time that Tanner dated us both at the same time, going so far as holding both our hands at one time when we didn't know it.

It was fun to see people that I knew, but it was more fun to dance to songs by Jessica Simpson, Gwen Stefani, Missy Elliott, and Britney Spears. Even as I type this, I'm remembering how much fun I had dancing... and dancing with Tanner. There was one time that I got a little too close dancing with him, but I knew my boundaries.

We had to leave at the zenith of my enjoyment because Megan was so drunk that she couldn't keep her alcohol inside her. Scott kept motioning for us to leave and I kept saying, "One more song" knowing that they would blend together and I could get a few more minutes in dancewise.

I told Scott that I was in no position to drive since I was wasted, so he called Brian to make sure he was home. Scott dropped me off and I came home to Brian being mad.

But that's okay. Brian and I have an agreement: if I get drunk, I know he'll be mad when I get home. I told Brian that I only drink seldomly if at all and I drink responsibly; therefore, there is nothing to worry about. I know Brian hates when I drink, but I enjoy it so much and as long as I'm not an alcoholic, I think I should be able to.

The whole night was really fun. The only bad thing about having such a great night is that the rest of the weekend won't be as fun as tonight.