This Mulatto Celebrity

Scott, Shawn and I went to Hollywood Video to rent a movie tonight. There's a fun game we play everytime we go: we talk about each other using movie titles.

Examples:

• (Pointing to What Women Want) "This is what people always tell me I am"
• (Pointing to Big Daddy) "This is what Scott likes to be called in bed"
• (Pointing to The Grudge) "This is what Adam holds against us all"

Usually, they are derogatory but really funny. I was trying to be nice, so I pointed to the movie In Good Company and said, "I'm in this!"

A girl, who was standing next to us, saw me do this, looked me up and down like she was trying to remember my name, and then said, "really?" We ignored her, but we walked away laughing. Yes, a celebrity like me is renting a movie in the Rose Park Hollywood Video.

Scott and Shawn settled on "I Heart Huckabees." I really didn't want to see it, but I didn't want to appear overbearing and bossy by telling them I wanted to rent something else. I think I can be like that much of the time and I would find it annoying if I were them.

When we went to pay, I had this conversation with the Indian girl who was working:

Shudra: Sir, your fine is $33 and you need to pay some of it. Normally, you have to pay 10% of anything over $30. Today, you have to pay $2.

Jesse: How about I pay next time?

Shudra: Well, how about a dollar?

Jesse: Which one is it? $2 or $1? You are confusing me.

Shudra: Well, what can you pay?

Jesse: How about a penny?

I wasn't trying to be an ass, I just didn't want to pay the fine. Yes, the fine is totally my fault but I don't want to pay when Brian gets free movies from work. I ended up paying one dollar of the fine, graciously donated by Scott.

As I predicted, I Heart Huckabees sucked. I hated it because it talked about existential crap and was not enjoyable to watch. I really wanted to rent 12 Monkeys because I was in the mood for science fiction. Scott said next time, each of us gets veto power over any movie.