Looking Back

Below are two entries from my journal. They appear here exactly as written.

Monday, August 20th, 2001

...We took the fairy back to the mainland and walked to find the World Trade Center. How could we miss it? Its so HUGE!! Everyone but me got a hot dog, but I wasn't hungry anyways. Everyone had to eat before we went inside. I went to the corner of the WTC and looked straight up. It is a gargantuan sized building! I would love to work at the top floors because the view would be great!! We walked inside (I went first because it was so hot outside) and stared to explore. Mom brought in food and I was embarrassed. I didn't want to look like a tourist, but we did anyways AND Mom was eating a hot dog! This was a buisness building for crying out loud!

She didn't care (like always) and I didn't care after a while. Dad wanted to go to the top, so we took the escalator to see how much tickets were. They turned out to be $17. Way too expensive! I'll just go up next time I'm in NYC. It will be with friends too, so I would pay for it.

Tuesday, September 11th, 2001

I woke up and got ready as usual. I turned on the TV and saw CNN with the image of smoke coming out of the first tower. This was at about 8:30AM Utah time. The Pentagon had been hit too, and I was shocked. I went to my 9AM class just pondering about the end of the world. But I don't think I had realized what REALLY happenned. When I came back home after class, all my roommates were watching TV. This was the 2nd time all of us had been together (at one time.) Allen Christensen asked me if I knew one tower had gone down. I told him no and that I didn't believe him. I saw the replay on CNN and was shocked. Then before my own eyes, the second tower fell. I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

Mom then called and I walked into the lobby to talk. She told me how we need to be living the Gospel because the last days are here. She lovingly told me that me watching R-rated movies was bad. I started getting emotional at the end of her call. When we hung up, I went into my room and started to cry. Why had this happenned?? There were so many dead people. After 5 minutes, I got the phone and sat in the kitchen to call Dad. When he said, "Hello?" I just said "Dad, I love you" and a rush of emotion came upon me. I ran to my room, shut the door and could not control myself. Dad kept saying, "Jesse, Are you okay? What's the matter?!" I was so emotional. I love Dad so much and I don't think I could bear losing him. I got off the phone with him and called Wendy, Grandma and Grandpa Nix, Anne Radimecky, Emily Beaver, Sister Hathaway, and Jenny Couey.

The usual BYU devotional was cancelled and a prayer meeting was held in its place. I went to it with my roommates. As we walked in, they were playing "Come Come Ye Saints" and I just wanted to cry.

The rest of the day was really solemn. Men's Chorus was great because Sister Hall gave a great message about how singing uplifts your spirits. Her words really helped me.