Retail Hell

I woke up at noon eastern standard time or 10am Utah time. My mom thinks I'm lazy by sleeping in but I keep telling her I'm on Utah time!

Mom and I went shopping in Horseheads in the afternoon. What started as a fun trip to Old Navy turned into an unfun trip to Old Navy.

First of all, I really don't like Old Navy. I think their clothes are cheap and each store is an ugly warehouse. Plus, it smells like cheap clothes. I was fine for the first 30 minutes because I was trying to find presents for people (and myself if something was cute enough).

Mom tried on some pants that I told her were too tight. While they made her side profile fabulous, you could really see her butt. When I told her she should find to find a bigger size, she said "shopping for clothes is depressing!"

I shopped around with Mom for 15 more minutes before I wanted to leave. My mom wasn't ready and kept looking. She spent 20 more minutes looking at things and didn't even pick up anything in that time! It was so annoying! I was so bored that I took this picture:

I have more Chins than a Chinese phonebook!

We went to Sam's Club where I became more annoyed because I just wanted to go home. I did, however, improve my mood when I picked the fastest moving checkout line. It was nice to internally say to myself, "Haha suckers! I picked a line that was faster than the rest of ya'll!"

We also made a stop at the mall where my mom commented that she liked people who dressed nicely. When she noticed some guys and used them as an example, I said, "Mom, those guys are gay." She replied by saying, "Then I like gay people."

Mom had to pick up Ben and Erik, so she called Dad and asked him to thaw some ground beef and put spaghetti noodles on the stove. We took so long with running errands that when we got home, dinner was ready.

I thought we were going to eat dinner at the table, but Dad said that he had already eaten because he didn't want to wait for us. Then he farted. I told them that they acted like old people: they don't sit down to eat as a family and they fart when they want to. When I was growing up, both of those things were unacceptable.