A Bad Son

Mom, Russell, Jennie, and I were playing Ticket to Ride when Erik came to annoy my Mom about something. He started being rude and disruptive so I told him, in a stern voice, to leave Mom alone. He kept on whining and aggravating my nerves. As I yelled at him to stop, Mom firmly hit me on the shoulder and told me to be quiet.

I don't know why, but I've always hated people hitting me and cannot stand it. My annoyance level can go from 0 to 10 if you hit me. When my Mom did it, I turned to her and told her not to do that. We started arguing and it ended with my mother walking away into the basement.

The yelling was over and I was fine (my mood can change very quickly). Erik had walked away and I wanted to start playing the game again.

I descended into the basement to urge Mom to keep playing with us. She ignored me at first, and then started crying. She told me that I reminded her of an incident with her father when she was younger. They were at a store and her father blew up at her for doing the same thing. My grandfather was an alcoholic and had a strong temper. In that moment, I reminded my mother of her father.

I tried to say sorry, but she told me to leave her alone. "I need to be alone right now."

One of the worst things a son can do to his mother is make her cry. I can't even begin to explain how it felt to see her cry because of something I did. I needed to apologize, so I wrote this letter to her:

Mom,

I'm really sorry that I yelled at you. I see you as such a strong woman who can handle most things and I forget that you are still my mother. I know when Ben and Erik yell at you or tell you to be quiet, it hurts your feelings and makes you think they don't respect you.

Mom, I respect you immensely and think you are the greatest Mom I could have ever wished for. When we are hungry, you always give us food. When we see something we like at the store, you buy it for us. When we're sad, you cheer us up. When we want to play a game, you want to play it with us. When I want someone to talk to on the phone, you pick up the phone and talk to me. I wish every kid had a mother like you because you are amazing.

I'm really, really sorry for yelling at you. You didn't deserve that. I hate to see you cry because of something I did because it reminds me of when I was younger. I was a bratty kid and was awful toward you and Dad. There are things in this world that I can't stand--you crying is one of them. It's probably the worst punishment you could give me.

Again, I'm very sorry. I don't know why I blew up, but my response was highly inappropriate. I hope you'll forgive me and know that I'll never do it again.

I love you.

-Jesse