Mormon Church x3

My mother and I were going to go to church with Megan this morning, but when I woke up at 9am, I was in intense pain. I called Megan and told her that I couldn't come.

Three hours later, after some much needed "butt" maintenance, I picked up my mom from my sister's house. We went to the hospital to make sure everything was fine. My mom decided that she wanted to go to church, so she asked me to come along. Not having planned on going to church, I was wearing a tshirt and jeans. My mother said that no one would care.

Mom was trying to find a specific Mormon church that her friend attends. We had an approximate address and I thought I found the right church. Unfortunately, there is a Mormon church on almost every block so you have to know the exact address. We ended up going to two church buildings (taking the sacrament in the second church) before we found the right one.

After church, we went back to the hospital where I received a text message from a guy that Scot is interested in. This guy asked how he could get ahold of Scott. I called Scott to ask him if I could give this guy his phone number. Instead of being excited, Scott laughed and asked me why I was calling! I spent the next ten minutes trying to convince Scott that I wasn't playing a joke!

My butt hurt so badly that I went to an urgent care clinic to seek treatment. I leave for Mexico in less than a week and I don't want any problems!! The doctor told me to continue to use suppositories and not read on the toilet. I've been putting little white missiles up my butt every four hours, but I don't know if I can stop the reading.