Me preocupo de muchas cosas

Yesterday morning, I counted how many steps it took to walk to school. It takes about 1500 steps, so if each step is equal to 3 feet, I walk about 4500 feet to and from school (85% of a mile) or 1.7 miles just to get to school. Since I usually go to the gym, I walk 3.41 miles every single day. I think that’s why my leg muscles are bigger.

I talked to Brian on the phone after lunch today. It was really nice talking to him and I miss him a lot. I told him about going to Canada and he was semi-fine with it. His major concern was with money. I also found out that Brian’s not going to take me anywhere when I get back. Originally, we were going to go to Las Vegas to see the musical, “Avenue Q”, but he now says he won’t have the money. I don’t think we’ll go on a vacation this year because Brian bought the house. It’s okay—we’ve been together for over 3 years and we’ve never gone anywhere. It annoys me, but I can’t do anything about it because I don’t have the money. When I’m rich someday, we’ll be able to go places. I just wish Brian would take advantage of our youth. He’s turning 26 this year.

While on the phone with Brian, I said that we should never be apart for this long because it’s hard. He disagreed and said that it will happen again. I said, “No, I know it won’t. And you can’t do it wither” implying that Brian might spend time away from me for a job.

When I said this experience has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, he laughed at me. When I said that being away from him is hard because I’ve realized how much I depend on him, he made me feel like I was being over dramatic. I don’t think Brian thinks being apart is that hard—but I do. Because he was so flippant, I want to be able to also be flippant about it, but I never will be able to be. He hurt my feelings because I thought we felt the same way. I tried not to let him know, but he figured out that I was upset. I told him that I wasn’t and changed the subject. Am I being a woman about the whole thing?

I spent 2 hours in the computer lab (instead of going to the gym because my arms are sore) writing an essay about our excursions. One is due for each excursion (3 in total) and I only finished one. I find it very difficult to think and write in Spanish (and even harder to translate, which is why it took me so long).

Tonight, I became really annoyed with myself because I realize how lazy I am. I don’t think I’ve learned Spanish as well as I should have—mostly because there is a guy named Shawn who came here knowing no Spanish and now he speaks better than me. I know I didn’t work as hard as he did. I’m not disciplined or hard working. Also, I was on myspace and found a list of law schools that Tyler Allen was accepted to. Tyler’s smarter than me and the list of schools wasn’t that great. Am I doomed to mediocrity? I think I am and am having a hard time coming to grasp with the concept.