Pantalones Sucios
Why do little, stupid things upset me? Rather, why do I become upset? Today, Shawn asked Beth to play the piano for a “special musical number” in Mormon Church on Sunday. I wish he had asked me because I really would have enjoyed it.
During school, lots of people wanted to go to the orphanage with Sara and me. I commented, “I don’t want a lot of people coming to the orphanage”, incorrectly implying that this was “my” thing. Right after I said it, I felt stupid because it wasn’t what I was trying to say. Okay, it was, but I felt badly and selfish because I had no right to say it. These kids need as much interaction as they can get.
More people did come to the orphanage (Lauren, Beth, Tyler, and Sarah) and it worked out perfectly. We had to take 2 cabs, but that was the only bad thing.
While at the orphanage, I sat at the bottom of a slide toboggan style with my legs around Lauren. All of a sudden, my butt felt warm, like the slide has just heated up. Immediately, I stood up and realized what it was. On the slide, a little girl had peed and it had traveled the length of the slide. I yelled to Lauren to stand up, but the pee reached her before she followed my advice. My butt was completely soaked in pee! At first, I was kind of mad but quickly got over it because I knew it would be a funny story.
Instead of going home right after the orphanage to clean my pants, I went to the movies at the Galleria mall with Sara, Sarah, and Tyler. I needed an ATM to pay back Austin (I borrowed $100 pesos from him on Monday to do laundry) tomorrow, so I couldn’t go home anyway.
When we got to the Galleria, Sarah (the tall one) was crying and told us that she left $800 pesos in a taxi. It was interesting because here’s a girl that I’ve thought badly about because she can sometimes act in certain ways. However, here she was in an intimate moment crying about her money. She let down all her defenses she shows to everyone else. I said all this to Sara Bridge and she surprised me by saying, “Well, you get what’s coming to you and I don’t feel badly for her.” I guess I was surprised because I expected Sara to be more empathetic.
We ended up seeing, “El Hombre Peligroso.” I didn’t really like it and thought it was too sad.
posted by Jesse @ Wednesday, March 15, 2006
1 comments
1 Comments:
You ask why you get upset over stupid, little things. You and I are so much alike, really, it's weird. You know small things annoy me yet, unlike you, I dwell on them and make them bigger than they really are. And maybe this is a case of that, I don't know.
As it got closer to you coming home, I realized that you and I never hung out or talked after we had "the big talk" in December. I am unsure if things will really change and stupidly (if that's a word), I'm worried about how to act around you.
Whether you think so or not, we were very close at one time. We know each other very well and are so similar so many times it's downright freaky. Like, when we talk about Pride stuff, we know exactly what each other will say because we're thinking the same way.
Part of me really, really wants to go back to being close like we were. I know this will never happen. Part of me also doesn't want things to go back the way they were. As I was talking to Scott about this, he said that he felt that because we are so much alike, it's hard for us to be really close.
While you were gone, the interaction we had was like it used to be--even though you weren't here physically. But yet, there were "small things" that I would let get me upset. In some of your posts, you'd right about how much fun you would have with so and so because no one else would do those things with you back home. I would always do those kinds of things with you. In fact, usually I'm the only one. Sure, sometimes you would do them in an inappropriate time and I would be upset. It seems that you remember the bad times we've had more than the good.
Oh well. Life goes on.
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