Drama with Dominique

I always find it amusing when I write about someone on my blog and they find out. This time it was Dominique and she found my blog by googling my name (for what reason, I do not know).

If you missed it, here is what she said in response to this post:

Too chicken shit to bring this directly to me, little boy?

Am I so powerful that someone actually copied and pasted from a Lesbian group my entire post and distributed it throughout your kingdom?

Are you all so frightened by my words that you cower in your little blogs and pretend to be all powerful?

As for first hand knowledge... I've been included in several pride celebrations. I know the frustrations of organizing and the thankless job it is. Precisely why I commented on how every leadership change that I have seen, four since 1998, has refused or ignored suggestions from past organizers.

I stand by my comments that your actions were incredibly insensitive, bordering on hostile.

Instead of bristling your burrs (all y'all organizers who took my words so deeply personal) and defending yourselves by attacking my person, perhaps you should actually listen to so many of the people who were absolutely mortified by your police action.

It is for THEM that Pride is organized. Not for your self agrandisement.

I honestly laughed when I first read it and immediatly texted Megan. I've never understood why people send mean emails/letters to people that they are mad at. It always makes them sound like a mean person even if they are not. I think Dominique is a nice person, but this email really puts her in a bad light.

Whenever I'm upset at someone and want to tell them, I write an email/letter to get everything off my chest. Then I put the letter somewhere and never send it to them.

I responded in the nicest way possible:

Dominique,

I have to laugh. Using my blog as a forum for your frustration is ridiculous as it's my personal blog. Sure, you can "defend" yourself, but at least do it in a way that dignifies yourself.

Using words like, "little boy" and "your kingdom" make you sound like you are the one on the power trip.

As for being a "chicken shit" for not going to directly to you and using personal attacks, it was you who called me an "arrogant" organizer initiating a "police action" and complaining about it on a lesbian forum (your "kingdom"). I was merely commenting on my blog about comments made about me.

I do appreciate your comments about getting people out of the park on Saturday. I may have been a tad insensitive as you said, but I also had been on the site the whole day. Instead of being rude, you could have understood where I was coming from. I understand where you are coming from and if it ever happens again, I will be kinder in helping people leave.

Contrary to your belief, I did not take your comments personal in any way. If you are familiar with my blog (and I assume you are not), it acts as my journal where I write all my thoughts, not just my guarded ones. If I really took it personally, I would have said so.

Honestly, there was no "self aggrandizement" in coordinating volunteers for Pride. If I wanted to do that, I would have asked you where you got the green volunteer tshirt you were wearing. I know you did not volunteer with Pride and I can only assume you took one because you thought you’d look good in lime green.

Yours,
Jesse

I ran it by Brian to make sure I was being nice and not rude. I wanted the last paragraph to be funny and I think I achieved that (because my first draft was rude). I never thought she'd respond, but she did:

actually, i worked in the beer garden taking id's and selling tickets for 3 hours... next to the county building. i went in the Trina... because I didn't want another confrontation with you. i would have paid for a ticket rather than have to talk to you, but trina walked me in... after asking your permission. i'm sure you were overwhelmed and didn't even notice. the line checking in was rather long at the time. it was right after the parade. i'll gladly give you the shirt back. i have volunteered in one way or another every year since 2001. i certainly dont need another shirt. i volunteered with sWerve. i was on THEIR list, if not on yours

When I read her response, I quickly looked at the sWerve list because I could have been wrong and would have apologized. However, her name was not on the list so I stand by my original comment. I have no doubt that she did volunteer because many people volunteered at the last minute.

This all brings me to a column in the Salt Lake Tribune that relates to my correspondence with Dominique.

People, no matter who they are addressing, should always be nice.