You think you're hot shit, but you're really just cold diarrhea.

This week has been so embarrassing for me.

However, this does not prevent me from writing the stories on my blog.

In the email that Toby recently sent me, he spelled especially wrong. Toby is an exceptional writer so I laughed at his misspelling of a simple word.

After I showed Brian the email, I told him that I loved how Toby misspelled especially. Brian looked at the email again, then started to laugh.

"Jesse, he didn't misspell it. The word is epically, not especially."

I felt so stupid. I walked into the kitchen with my head down saying, "Don't talk to me! I'm so dumb! And who uses the word epically anyway!"

Brian came to comfort me, but I refused his affection by turning my back toward him. Finally, he turned me around, grabbed me by the shoulders and said, "Sweetheart, you aren't stupid."

Then he looked at my shirt and said, "Um, you have boogers on your shirt."

Not only did I not know the word epically, dried boogers were my shirt from me blowing my nose in my car.

Confidential to Dawn Wiener: I will join your club.